Eph 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
I’ve been listening to a great tape from Focus on the Family, Respect: A Marriage Essential, by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. The tape is from a Love and Respect conference where Dr. Eggerichs addresses a female audience.
His main point is that one of the reasons couples start getting into the “crazy cycle“, is that wives don’t recognize the importance of honoring and respecting the husband. Since they fail in this Biblical commandment, the marriage starts to break down.
Though it could be a controversial topic, he gives a very humorous and convincing presentation of this truth. When he started teaching this, wives were not receptive to this teaching. So he proposed a test for the wives. He told them to think of 3 things that they respect their husbands for. Then go to your husband and say, “Honey, I’ve been thinking about some things that I respect about you. And I just want to say I really respect and honor you for…” Then leave and let him ponder over what you said and see how he reacts. He gave one dramatic story of how one husband immediately offered to go out to dinner and help wash the clothes (and he rarely ever did those things before).
He pointed out that just as wives need love, husbands need respect. It would devastate a wife if the husband said, “I respect you, but I don’t love you.” And similarily, it would devastate a husband (though he won’t show it) if his wife says, “I love you, but I don’t respect you.”
What he challenges wives to do is to unconditionally respect their husband. The main reason to do it is that the Bible commands wives to do that. He also points out that nowhere does it command wives to love their husbands.