There has been a thread going on in our church discussion group about singleness and finding a spouse. Here is something I posted to the group….
My brother asked me after I got married how I felt now that I was married. I answered, “… Different. Not better or worse, just different.” For me, being married is no better than being single, nor worse. It’s just a different stage in life. Sure, marriage has it’s blessings, but it also comes with extra burdens.
It seems like it’s human nature to always think that it’s better on the other side. When you’re single, you wish to be married. When you’re married, you wish to have kids. When you have babies, you wish they’ll be older so they can take care of themselves. When you’re driving the kids to soccer and ballet, you wish they can drive. When the kids can drive, you wish they’d stay home more. When all the kids are off to college, you wish it wouldn’t be so lonely in the house. And on and on.
The challenge for all of us is to remain content where we’re at and not compare ourselves with other people. The grass might be greener on the other side, but they’re probably paying $200 a month on their water bill.
Singleness is a wonderful stage in life and to reiterate what Alison said, take full advantage of it. After you get married, you won’t have as much time to serve the Lord. And after you have kids, the main ministry is to the family. There’s a Chinese saying that goes like, “Being single is being an animal, being married is being a plant, being parents is being a rock.” When you’re single, you have complete freedom to do whatever and whenever you want. It’s an opportunity that should be treasured and wisely used.
When you’re single, being active in ministry is a great antidote for feelings of loneliness. When I was single, I was a leader of an International Bible Study for a number of years and afterwards a leader of the English Ministry at the Taiwanese church. I was so involved in other peoples’ lives that I never had to deal with loneliness or lack of purpose. And there is certainly no lack of ministry needs in the church and in the world today.
As to finding a spouse, my view is:
Psa 37:4 Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
Mat 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
My $0.02,
Oliver