On RobinsonUsers4Christ, there was a good note of encouragement to moms (and dads).
A side note here to all of you with younger children. If we, as moms, can
get past the idea that our children should be at a certain level by a
certain age, it will greatly relieve the amount of stress we have in the
education process with our children. Also, if we can look at each challenge
that comes up as just that, a challenge, and tackle it like we would a jig
saw puzzle, working different ideas and solutions until we come up with the
one that works for this particular challenge with this particular child, our
lives will be much less hectic and worrisome.
We need to get past our societal way of looking at children as ‘gifted and
talented’, ‘average/normal’, or “slow, behind, learning disabled, ADD, ADHD,
etc.’. Each child progresses at his own rate, and thinks in the fashion in
which God designed him to think. None of these are ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ ways
to learn and/or think. None of them are ‘normal’ or ‘abnormal’. God made
us all differently, and He expects us to learn WITHIN our differences,
rather than being conformed into an image dictated by society as the ‘right’
way in which to learn. I am fully convinced that, though I was a good
student as far as grades are concerned, if I were in grade school today they
would be having serious discussions with my parents about the “wisdom” of
putting me on Ritalin. However, I was raised by parents who believed that
it was the duty of the child to be obedient. If the child were not obedient
then there would be consequences. In other words, we were raised with
discipline. Our behavior was treated as exactly that – behavior – not as
though it were some disorder that needed to be fixed. The ‘fix’ that was
given was generally a few swats on the bottom, a time out, or a
‘restitution’ for a wrong committed against another (saying I’m sorry or
giving back something taken away from another child, etc.
Now, if you have a child on drugs for ADD or ADHD, please do NOT take
offense at this. My intent is not to discuss the rights or wrongs of these
drugs, nor am I saying that YOUR child should not be on drugs. My point is
that God made us all differently. If your child has a God-given desire to
be a wiggly worm then, by all means, let that child wiggle as much as you
possibly can. Just teach him that there are times when he may NOT wiggle,
such as during church. But be thankful for the wiggle that God placed in
that child’s life. It’s there for a reason, and we need to encourage that
child to use that wiggle for God’s glory. Reward that child for a job well
done by giving him time to wiggle. Let him wiggle as much as prudent in any
and every situation possible. For instance, during school he may be more
comfortable standing by his desk than sitting in it. I know there are times
when I am scrapbooking that I simply cannot sit down to do it. I have to
get up and stand at the table to get it done right. Why is that? I don’t
know. But I do know that there are times when I just can NOT sit down to do
a job, I have to be standing to do it. So it is with some children, and
they need to be able feel comfortable in being themselves, in being the
person God made them to be.
Look for your child’s gifts and the personality traits the Lord has given to
him or her. Encourage those traits, give them space to learn within them,
forget about society’s ideas of how, when, and how much a child should
learn. If you feed your child he will grow. So also, if you tend to the
traits and personality which God has given that child, as you would tend a
plant, the child will grow and blossom in ways beyond your imagination.
Sorry this is so long. I’ve noticed a lot of posts lately about children
who are ‘behind’ or ‘not getting it’, etc., and I have felt very much that
you young moms need to know that you are doing fine. That He is leading you
and your children are in your hands because God CHOSE to place them there.
You are the BEST mom that child can have. You need to rest in that
assurance, and let Him guide you as to how YOUR child best learns so that
you can train him in the way the LORD wants him to go, not being concerned
about man’s ideas and suppositions about where that child should be
academically at a certain age.
(Reprinted here with permission from Tammy Dressler)